I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

How I feel When I Hear No! by Ronnie Farzam and illustrated by Bonnie Lui, is a story that paints how chaotic someone’s emotions can be, and how to learn from and cope with moments that seem overwhelming and unfair. 

While I typically wouldn’t ascribe someone being mad as magical as a wizard just exploding with rage, or a volcano trying to burn everything out of its way, the pictures do lend credence to how complex those emotions are. Anger is a secondary emotion, and acts a defense mechanism whenever we feel hurt, or scared, or threatened, or anything that knocks us out of our comfort zones. This is true for adults and children; it may not seem like it, but we have temper tantrums too. They just look different is all. Granted, there’s no (rarely) screaming or shouting involved, and whenever someone tells us no, we might hurl all sorts of abuse at them. But that’s what I like about this book; it’s okay to have those big feelings. Even if we might not be able to make sense of them at the time, we can still validate ourselves without hurting others.

The artwork is, of course, beautiful. I love the different shades that Lui uses in order to (try to) capture all the feelings this little girl must be going through. Sometimes it’s very dark and destructive, but other times it’s quiet and subdued. I loved when Lui combines those aspects of dark and light in order to form a sort of flashlight to help lead people back. It’s okay to wander, but as long as you’ve got that light, everything will work out, regardless of what started the emotional cascade. It reminds us of the importance of having a safe space to explore the emotions, and the no matter what, once the chaos ends, you’ve got somewhere to rest. 

This is definitely a book I plan to use for both my adolescent and my adult clients.